Smile....or not

My Dove candies were speaking to me today, and one of them made me chuckle right out loud. The inside wrapper said, "The best holiday decoration is a smile." Well isn't that sweet? Where do the Dove people come up with these? I think they should get together with the Snapple people, as well as Mr. Vitamin Water and write a book of deep thoughts. Maybe Jack Handy is available. He was always so witty.

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Anyway, I got to thinking about this little nugget of inspiration. Yes! The best holiday decoration really IS a smile! I'll buy that! But then my brain was overtaken by the Jeff Foxworthy standup that I had just seen, and I kept replaying a line from his act. "If people accuse you of lying through your tooth, you might be a redneck." This brings me to my little candy wrapper, and the melding of my thoughts. When might a smile NOT be the best holiday decoration? Here's what I've come up with...

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If you've been accused of lying through your tooth, your smile might not be the best holiday decoration.
If you have just eaten a lunch that consists of broccoli, spinach, and Oreo cookies for dessert, your smile might not be the best holiday decoration.
If "head gear" or "retainer" are in your dental vocabulary, your smile might not be the best holiday decoration.
If you have just chewed one of those cool red tablets to see how well you brush, your smile might not be the best holiday decoration.
If your favorite sport is hockey, your smile might not be the best holiday decoration.

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That's what I came up with. If you have others, I'd love to hear them. Maybe we can write to Dove and get a jump on next year's wrappers. In any case, I hope that your Christmas was decorated lavishly with many smiling faces (sans broccoli).